My last entry ended with a postscript about bears that, as it turns out, was more of a preface to the events of the evening. I lay in bed, half asleep, when suddenly I heard a loud crashing through the trees to the west of me. It sounded like several deer, running at full speed, and less than 30 yards away. A thought occurred to me; "what are they running from?" I sat up in my sleeping bag and peered into the night. The trail had emerged onto a dirt service road and I, being exhausted, had found the first flat spot next to the road. I could see the trail as a gap in the dark underbrush, twenty feet away. The road itself, lit by the moon, appeared as a tan colored ribbon against the surrounding grays and blacks. I began hearing thudding steps from the direction of the trail. The silhouette of a large black bear emerged from the trail and stood outlined against the road. He was 20 feet away, and all I had was my sleeping bag to hide me. Any second he would look my way or catch my scent.
Now here's what I know about black bears - according to these statistics I just made up:
1. The top speed of a black bear is 187 miles per hour.
2. Black bears eat, on average, 4 humans per fiscal quarter.
3. All black bears are mean drunks.
4. Approximately 18% of black bears are killer cyborgs, and another 12% are purple belt or higher in Kempo Karate.
I know, I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't just made it up. Bottom line is that I was a bit worried. I needed to act fast before the bear could figure out I was made of delicious meat. I decided to try roaring as loudly as I could. It worked! The bear didn't even try to find the source of the noise before he took off 50 yards down the road and then into the woods.
I gave myself a 7 for my performance. Although I did scare away a potentially drunk cyborg bear, I had to dock myself a few points. In the excitement of the moment I didn't technically roar so much as, well, yell the word "roar" really loudly. It kind of felt like something the cowardly lion would do. Sure, it was effective, but it lacked a certain machismo that you get from a bone chilling primal noise. Anyway, I made a mental note to work on my roaring.
In the morning I checked the tracks before I packed up camp. I wondered when my next bear encounter would be. Little did I know, I wouldn't have to wait long to find out.
I was hiking around the south side of Grizzly Peak about an hour later. The trail was mostly straight, but would occasionally weave in and out of scars in the mountain's face that were caused by runoff. This causes blind corners as the trail rounds a bend. I cruised around one such bend and found myself maybe 15 feet from a bear. He had beautiful chestnut fur, and he looked strong and healthy. Really magnificent animals! He looked at me for a moment and then took off up the trail. I saw him look back once before plunging downhill into the underbrush. It must have had a mate because off to my left, downhill, I heard s..... OH HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GODDAM BEAR OUTSIDE MY TENT RIGHT NOW!!
Ok, I'm not even making this up. I'm typing my blog and I hear a noise. Something is out there munching on the vegetation. I look out and it's another damn bear! Ok, redemption time. I slowly unzipped my tent, got out, and rose to my full 5 feet 8 and 3/4 inches. I saw the bear 30 yards away. I rose a couple more inches on tip-toes to be safe. "RAAAAAAWWWWWRRRR!" Excuse my adrenaline fueled language but F*** YEAH, that's more like it! The bear took off, and now every noise will keep me awake.
Oh yeah, I did some hiking today too.
